Friday, 2 January 2015

Living with a male: Things Disney never told you.

Happy 2015 my lovelies!

How has the past couple of days treated you?! I hope you're well and truly starting on a positive note, and you're kicking ass!

My new year so far has been pretty chilled, MD and I held a impromptu new-years party and all our friends came over to have a beer bong off our balcony...or two. (We'll discuss that and my reaction another time!) Clean up wasn't as bad as I was expecting, our friends were boozy, but not inconsiderate - which is definitely what you are needing in boozy friends!

Today I want to talk about living together, the trials and tribulations of moving in together for the first time and how it's not exactly the fairytale Disney is wanting you to believe it is! 

Don't they look super happy and content?! I doubt they live together!

This is not going to be a man-bashing blog post, oh no siree! I love my MD and I'm sure you love all your "living permanently male housemates" but with all their charms and their wonderful quirks come a lot of "I wish I'd seen this before we signed the lease" oddities. We'll discuss these and my attempts to kind of learn to love them.

Firstly, the moving in was hard - we live in a 2 bed 2 1/2 bath flat on the top floor. There is no lift...
That's right, our apartment and the ones below us are 2 stories high...we had to lug all our furniture up about 7 flights of stairs to our door about 4000 times... This was a trial. There was screaming, shouting and the occasional, "I'll live here alone while you go somewhere else and pay rent still!" argument.. I was always the winner, but ultimately the loser, because it never come to fruition! 

We had a LOT of help, which was AMAZING. Without that help I think we would have been on the 7pm news by now: "COUPLE DIE MOVING HOUSE BY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY HITTING EACH OTHER WITH BOXES UP THE STAIRS!!...More at 7:30." I joke, but this would have happened... We were getting on each others nerves, and massively so. I couldn't do anything right and neither could he. It got to the point where he stayed in his old place for a couple of days in the beginning, whilst I lived in the new apartment for that time. It was bliss, I almost never wanted him to come back! However he did, and now it's a learning curve...

Cleaning and cleanliness is a major factor/argument in our household. I want things a particular way, and he wants them another - AKA, where ever it fits - it goes. I am no Martha Stewart, I am happy to admit, I leave the clean dishes in the dishwasher for a day or two until I get frustrated I can't fill it back up again with my dirty dishes. However, I am rather neat and I don't like clutter or food scraps/ crumbs in the house all over the friggen place!! MD is okay with leaving his dinner mess over night so it can be done in the morning - to me this is a BIG NO-NO!! Why would you do that?! What are we - savages?! Ugh... this is still a constant arguments and as a EGALITARIAN - I am all for equality within the genders and I am happy for him to have equality within the dishwasher realm.

She's pretending to jump in the lake so he'll dive in and finally have a bath!

Laundry is the next thing. I am the first to admit that my side of the wardrobe is a bit haphazard - I try on so many things at once, that I get so frustrated that I can't even think of putting all those awful clothes back - this is my one weakness. I just CBF with it. MD is different, he is quite neat on his side - this is because he's one of those people that wear the same thing every day so he doesn't have to think about it - he's a cartoon character. It's all the same outfit. I cannot fault him on that - he has ONE win...MD 1 KG's a draw. However, the laundry - which is what this is about - is different - it's all on me. MD like's to do ALL his washing on a Sunday, which is fine, BUT he leaves it EVERYWHERE!!! Absolutely everywhere, which I cannot stand. I have left laundry baskets, and certain pile slots in places, but that's no use. He want's to leave it hanging over every hook and line he can every corner and crevice. Again, living together is not a goddamn fairy tale.

Personal hygiene is the final thing I will mention in this post (If I kept going on we'd be here for days.) It's such hard word have a 5 minute shower a day - she says sarcastically. The showering thing I do EVERYDAY it's not hard, I plan the days I need to wash my hair, shave every part of my body etc. MD doesn't - he can go 72 hours without a shower or wash of any kind, it smells, and not a nice endearing smell - a gross OMG WHAT THE HELL smell... I have tried giving him subtle reminders. I have tried cleaning his bathroom to make it more inviting, I was greeted with skid marks on the toilet - which wouldn't come off with COMMERCIAL STRENGTH cleaning fluid... I told him to reevaluate his diet. There is no use - I have nothing else I can do, he's not a bather...I need to either get him hypnotized or learn to live with it.

Living together is FUCKING HARD. Don't let anyone tell you any differently, it's fucking hard and it will always be that way. Men are fucking babies. Nothing less than that. However, they have their shining moment... When I figure out what MD's are - I will let you know.

Tell me all your horror stories below in the comment section OR instagram me/twitter me. I love to chat..

Till next time - LOVE KGXXX

1 comment:

  1. Just came across your blog through the people tab on Instagram Kelsie, and I love it! This one had me laughing out loud! You're a brilliant writer! :)


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